To even think the word I gives me a strange feeling in the marrow of my bones. It was years ago you see, that my humanity was taken from me. I surrendered in a way that seems logical by definition in its demand that I no longer refer to myself, or even think of myself as, a person. Since I am now an object, chattel of limited value, an animal, I think of myself as an it a thing to be used, or not, by my owners or their agents. By the end of this sentence, I will no longer refer to myself as an I, instead it will refer to itself as just what it is, a thing, and use the proper words to do so. Ahhh. What a relief. To write of itself as other than an it, is stressful, reminding it of the way it used to think when it was a person, and the nightmarish pain that it now associates with the struggle it put up in fighting its surrender. You see, it's not that it lives without pain--on the contrary, it lives with pain every moment of its life. Just that it understands now that pain,. George was the baby of the group, only 26. George was a smooth, ripped young guy, that had a very attractive boyish face. He was a golden boy surfer type and was a sharp contrast to the rest. Lynn was smitten from the first email. She has a thing for younger guys, and loves young, surfer types. The guy she picked up in Paris was a young, fit French guy, so I knew George would be of particular interest to her. I watched as each man made themselves known and said hello to Lynn. George was the first to ask Lynn to dance. I, of course, said, "yes, sure, go have fun honey." I watched them dirty dance, bump and grind and even saw George rub his hands all over her body. At one point he even had his hand up her dress exposing her cute little thong. Soon, Bryan and Phil were chatting me up and I noticed Curt join George on the dance floor. After a song or two, both Curt and George had Lynn in the middle of them as they grind her body to the thumping beats ringing from the speakers. A crowd.
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